The film was followed by 2006's Blade: The Series, and also marks Reynolds' first superhero role, as well as his first collaboration with Marvel Entertainment. The film grossed $132 million at the box office worldwide on a budget of $65 million and received mostly negative reviews from critics for its formulaic themes, directing and acting it is the worst-reviewed film in the trilogy. Blade must team up with a band of rogue vampire hunters to save humanity from his most challenging enemy yet: Dracula.īlade: Trinity was released in the United States on December 8, 2004. Blade has been framed for numerous murders by the vampire leader Danica Talos, who is determined to lead her bloodthirsty compatriots to victory. The third and final installment in the Blade trilogy, the war between humans and vampires continues. It stars Wesley Snipes as Blade, based on the Marvel Comics character of the same name, who also produced with Goyer, Peter Frankfurt and Lynn Harris, with a supporting cast of Ryan Reynolds, Jessica Biel, Kris Kristofferson, Dominic Purcell, Parker Posey and Triple H in his acting debut. Goyer, who also wrote the screenplays to Blade and Blade II. Experimenting.Blade: Trinity is a 2004 American superhero film written and directed by David S. We've been putting the vampire gene into other species. Attached to way too many articulated jaws. Hannibal is being introduced to a vampiric Pomeranian. But behind the scenes, he's heavily involved in a plant harvesting blood from kidnapped hobos. Publicly, he denounces the existence of vampires. I ate a lot of sugar today.Ĭhief Vreede is corrupt. but you might wanna consider blinking once in a while. Y'know? A little share time? Kick back, get in touch with your inner child, that sort of thing? Also. uh, you might wanna consider sitting down with somebody. And sometimes, you should take your advice and shove it where the sun don't shine. Something more like a snake's, with thousands of, uh, tiny bones, and. Not into a bat or a wolf or anything like that, but, another human, uh, with practice, could be possible.

We're still trying to sort out fact from fiction when it comes to Dracula. 'Cos that's how anyone who isn't still a virgin would say that, right?! But, apparently, he's been laid many times. Not sure what he was hoping for but I'm pretty sure vampire-shaped vibrators and plastic fangs weren't on his shopping list. Moving on.ĭrake has wandered into a vampire-themed store. And unlike typical vampires, her fangs are located in her vagina. she blew them all away in the sh*tstorm sweepstakes. You know the kind of woman that just screams trouble? You see her and every warning bell in your brain starts going off.

Because, according to Hannibal King, her fangs are located not in her mouth. Pants down? They pretty much fu*king ass-raped us!ĭanica Talos. go to plan and Drake isn't a happy vampire bunny. that was taken.īlade and the Nightstalkers have just made a giant dent in Asher Talos' day. We were going to go with the Care Bears but, uh. Sounds like rejects from a Saturday morning cartoon. If he HAS a middle name, it would have to be Sarcasm. Come on, man, I'm joking.Īgain, Hannibal just can't help himself.

Hannibal can't help but throw in a funny response. He's curious as to how their entire operation is funded. How about the President? Do you know who's in the Whitehouse right now?īlade has been taken back to Nightstalkers HQ. In order for me to do that, I'm gonna have to ask you a couple of questions. But I want you to know that I'm here to help. I know this must be very frightening for you. The screenwriter of Blade: Trinity managed it too! The Simpsons were credited with predicting that Donald Trump would become President.

But everybody knows that movies are full of sh*t. And some old English guy always manages to save the day at the last minute with crosses and holy water. Long before we are introduced to his character, Hannibal King, Ryan Reynolds provides the first words of the script as the opening titles roll. Personal History of David Copperfield, The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of The Desert, TheĪnd Now for Something Completely DifferentĪustin Powers: International Man of Mystery

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